The Angel of the Bat in… Sinfully Delicious!
by MJTR
Summary: That wily religious terrorist, the Seraphim, aims to destroy a truck full of delicious Duchess brand chocolate treats! Only the Angel of the Bat can save snacktime in Gotham!


Duchess Pastries and Chocolates Presents:

The Angel of the Bat in… Sinfully Delicious!

A Comedic Quickie by MJTR

The calm of an August night on the Adams Bridge into Gotham was decimated by a great and terrible explosion. Among the screeches of cars and the wails of parents and children, only a single vehicle was thrown by the eruption. A delivery truck full of delicious Duchess brand "Devil Fingers" careened halfway off the bridge, its driver suffered a concussion upon impact, and a gang of nefarious near do wells encroached upon the van of vices.

"At last!" The great wicked man in the feathered mask called to his companions. "We shall purify Gotham of its decadence—by destroying these opulent chocolate treats!"

The Seraphim, perhaps the wickedest of Gotham's religious extremist population, commanded his fellow zealots to overturn the truck, its driver, and its confectionary contents into the Gotham River!

"Stop!"

Down from atop one of the bridge's decorative supports descended a waif dressed in white with a blade in her hand. Opposite the Seraphim stood his physical and idealogical opponent, the Angel of the Bat.

"You're too late, little lost sheep!" The Seraphim drew his flamberge from his belt and ignited it with his gauntlet mounted flamethrower. "I will sink this ship of sweets!"

Angel ran at him and the two clashed swords. "Even Elijah ate cake," she said.

"The devil and his food cake can quote scripture to his own ends!"

As the Seraphim's fellow forces of fundamentalism closed in on the two, Angel had to retreat backwards. With the opening, the wicked worshipper grabbed her by the throat, opened the door of the Duchess truck, threw Angel inside, and welded the entry shut with his flaming sword. "I'll send you plummeting into the river with the cursed cargo! Such will be the fate of any who dare to use Satan as a marketing concept. Push them over!"

The members of the Seraphim's contemptable congregation pushed with all their might and forced the partially overturned truck toward the edge of the bridge with their numbers and great strength. Angel searched about her seemingly implacable prison for a way to save herself, the driver, and all of the delicious Duchess snack cakes within. At last, she found her answer within the driver's cup holder. In the midst of his attack from the Seraphim and his forces, the driver had been unable to finish the second Devil Finger in his two-pack. Surely the Seraphim had never tasted of its rich, chocolatey, spongey goodness filled with 100% natural crème filling if he was so desperate to destroy them all. With a kick at the window, Angel smashed out a hole just big enough to put her arm out of. With only one Devil Finger to attempt with, she had to make sure she did this just right.

"You should feel privileged, little angel," the Seraphim ranted. "I shall soon cleanse Gotham, and soon after that, all of the world, of its sins and devil worshipping foolishness. This was an inevitability. And you should be proud that you so much as—"

The Angel of the Bat seized her moment and flung the desert right at the Seraphim's mouth as he spoke. His words of hateful indignation caused his mouth to move in perfect timing to get a big mouthful of the sinfully delicious snack cake. For a moment, the dastardly devotee froze in stunned silence as the taste of one of the finest deserts every pre-packaged by man washed over him. Then he called out to his followers, "Hold! We must not destroy the contents, not when they taste as—as—as godly as they do!"

After a momentary confusion, the evil evangelicals under the Seraphim's sway stopped pushing the truck and pulled it back onto the road proper. Their sinister minister opened the back of the Duchess truck and ran his hand over packages upon packages of the devilish delights. But then, with his attention momentarily lost, the Angel of the Bat burst out from the back of the truck and laid into him in a ferocious flurry of fists and feet. The Seraphim was overwhelmed in an instant, and as his churlish church goers ran to avenge their master, all were soon dealt with in kind.

Within ten minutes, the Gotham PD had arrived at the scene and the Seraphim's devious disciples were rounded up. Angel exchanged a few terse nods with Commissioner Gordon as he led the Seraphim away, a Devil Finger still clutched in his hands.

"How could I have been so wrong?" he wondered aloud. "With cake so rich and chocolatey and filling so creamy, how could I not have recognized the lord's work when I first encountered it? Thank you, little angel, you have shown me the error of my ways this night."

With a small, satisfied smile, Angel opened a package of her own. "Man does not live by bread alone."

And with that, the police officers, the convicts, and even the Seraphim, all burst out laughing.

_It's true what Angel said, sometimes man needs a tasty chocolate cake with real crème filling! Try Duchess' brand Devil Fingers_. _Try them in classic vanilla crème, peanut butter crème, or new raspberry crème! A delicious snack in every pack!_


End file.
